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July 31, 2012
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(Contains: sexual themes)
Please let me know what you think, and what I can improve.

Sofia was a bigger girl with light, long, brunette hair, green eyes, light skin, and large breasts. She was wearing a green tank top, showing a lot of cleavage, Sofia was proud of her breasts, and blue jeans. But she hated school, because of Victoria. Victoria was beautiful, she had long blond hair, a smooth body, big brown eyes, a big bellybutton, thin body, and smooth skin. Though Victoria was beautiful, she was a sluty, spoiled, bully. She was in the popular group with the other beautiful snobby girls. She loved to pick on Sofia because of her weight, and because she wasn't as beautiful as her, which wasn't fair because Victoria was the prettiest girl in the whole school.

Sofia was waiting for class to started in the upper lobby.

"We'll look, it's the stay puff marshmallow bitch!" Said Victoria as she walked up to
Sofia in the empty lobby. Victoria was wearing a similar green tank top and blue jeans.

"Are you stealing my outfit puffy?"

"No, how was I supposed to know what you were going to wear?" Asked Sofia.

"I don't know, but how about you change?" Said Victoria. "Change into your gym clothes."

"No, you now what, I'm tired of you picking on me."

"Is stay puff trying to be tough?" Teased Victoria. Sofia chuckled and said.

"Well we'll so who's tough soon enough." And Sofia walked away, with a plan.
The next day, Sofia walked toward the school wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

Victoria was wearing a dark blue shirt and blue jeans.

"You look like you've gotten fatter then yesterday stay puff." Said Victoria. Sofia looked behind her and Victoria was following her.

"Just who I wanted to see." Said Sofia.

"What do you mean?" Asked Victoria. Sofia ran up to Victoria and put a cloth on Victoria's nose and mouth. Victoria tried to get away, but Sofia was to powerful, after 30 seconds of struggle, Victoria passed out.

Victoria woke up in a queen sized bed in a bedroom, red paint on the wall, and clothes all over the white  carpet. Victoria tried to get up, only to be held back. Victoria looked down, her ankles were tied to the bed posts by leather belts, she looked up, and her wrists were also tied to the bed posts by leather belts. Victoria tried to struggle free, but it was no use.

"Oh look at you." Said Sofia as she walked into the room wearing a tank top exposing her cleavage, no shoes, and shorts. "Such a strong girl, held back by only a few leather belts."

"LET ME OUT OF HERE!" Demanded Victoria, her body struggling.

"You've bullied me for too long, now it's time for my revenge." Said Sofia, as she unbuttoned Victoria's jeans, and pull them down, exposing her clean cut legs, her soft thighs, and Victoria's green panties.

"YOU SICK BITCH!" Yelled Victoria, her big brown eyes widening, her body thrashing around, her heart pounding.

"Don't worry, I won't rape you." Said Sofia. "I'll just make you wish you never messed with me."

Sofia ripped Victoria's shirt off, exposing Victoria's soft belly, big bellybutton, clean armpits, and green bra that covered Veronica's breasts.

"SOMEBODY HELP!" Screamed Veronica.

"So desperate, and so sexy." Said Sofia.

"Please, I won't bully you ever again!" Cried Victoria.

"You need to learn your lesson first." Said Sofia. Sofia leaned down and blew hard into Victoria's belly.

"NOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"Oh, are you ticklish?" asked Sofia as she slowly tickled Victoria's sides.

"No." Said Victoria as she held in her laughter, but Sofia knew Victoria was lying, because Victoria's belly was moving around trying to escape Sofia's tickling fingers. Sofia blew hard into Victoria's belly.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" Cried Victoria.

"I don't like being lied to." Said Sofia. "Lying only makes things" Sofia crawled on the bed and layed down on Victoria's legs "WORSE!" Sofia started to tickle Victoria's feet.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA PLE-PLE-PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAASSSSSSEEEE." Whimpered Victoria. Victoria started to scream to help.

"Quit screaming!" Demanded Sofia.
"NO!" Yelled Veronica.

"Then then I guess I'm gonna make you stop." Said Sofia. Sofia took off her shirt and crawled over to Victoria's face. Sofia grabbed Veronica's head, and put Veronica's head in between her breasts. Veronica tried to move her head back, but was stopped by Sofia's bra. Sofia grabbed her breasts, and squeezed them around Victoria's face. Veronica could feel Sofia's breasts against her face. Veronica tried to get her head out from Sofia cleavage, but it was no luck, Sofia was to strong.

"No will you stop screaming?" Asked Sofia.

A muffle Veronica replied "Yes I will, not get your tits out off my face!" Sofia did as she asked, and slipped Veronica's head away from her breasts. Sofia started to adjust her bra, Victoria glanced at Sofia's fat belly.

"Did you drink a gallon of water before you tickled me, Jesus your belly looks like HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Laughed Victoria, while in the middle of Victoria's sentence, Sofia sat on Victoria's thighs, and started tickling Victoria's sides.

"Sorry what was that?" Said Sofia sarcastically.

"NOHOHOHOHO I'M SORRY, I'M SOHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Yelled Victoria.

"Well your belly is as soft as mine!" Said Sofia. Sofia stuck her face in Victoria's belly and blew. Ripples quickly ran through Victoria's stomach.

"NOOOOHOHOHOHO!"

"See?" Said Sofia.

"I'LL NEVER BULLY YOU AGAIN I SWEAR!" Begged Victoria. As Sofia started tickling her armpits.

"No name calling, slapping, rumors or harassment?" Asked Sofia.
"NOHOHOHO OH GOHAHAHAHAD!" Yelled Victoria.
Victoria woke up in her bed, she looked to her alarm clock. "
Oh… it was just a dream." Exclaimed Victoria, then her belly started to hurt, Victoria lifted up her shirt and saw scratch marks, covering her belly.
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:iconblondechick0:
BlondeChick0 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is pretty good. I enjoyed reading it. :)
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:iconemperornortonii:
EmperorNortonII Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
It's nice how Sofia claims Victoria's belly! :XD:
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:iconmoleman90:
MoleMan90 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You keep changing Veronica to Victoria and at one point call Sofia Victoria as well
Reply
:iconalienvs:
alienvs Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012
this is pretty good....
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:iconx-destinys-force-x:
x-Destinys-Force-x Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
"Please let me know what you think, and what I can improve."

If you're serious about that, I've got a few suggestions.

For starters, you might want to put a double-space between each paragraph. Although it's not truly necessary for papers and essays, when a story is posted online, double-spacing makes the piece much easier to read. It currently looks like a block of text which is not only unattractive to the eye, it also makes it harder to distinguish between one line to another.

After quotations, unless it's a person's name, the lettering is not capitalized (i.e. "wear?" Asked Sofia should be wear?" asked Sofia.)

I should also mention that the transitions between scenes seem a bit abrupt, especially the ending. I think there should be something else there instead of just her waking up all of a sudden. For example, between Victoria laughing out her agreement and waking up in her own bed, maybe there could be something along the lines of this:

"Victoria's entire world was spinning as she began to lose consciousness. The constant tickling all across her soft, sensitive body was all that she knew before she finally blacked out. When she came to, Victoria realized that she was lying in her own bed. Her sheets were damp with sweat and her covers were tossed around messily across her bed as if she had been kicking them away all night."


I don't know, something like that.

Those are only a few suggestions. Other than that, it's a pretty nice tickling short. :meow:
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:iconhappytriangle:
HappyTriangle Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks man, I'll keep those in mind originally the where double spaces but i copied this into a note book document, which took away the double spaces, so ill try to edit that :)
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:iconhappytriangle:
HappyTriangle Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2012  Student Writer
I love to read comments :) so please make some
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